The reflections and introspections of Tim Nardoni: Father, Husband, and Lover.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Roadtrip

Ah, the 4th of July approaches and I'm beckoned home.

Home. Home is where the art is.

In honor of my roadtrip I present you an epic poem:

Driving to Danville

§ § §

Anderson

Houses

Stoplight

Empty factory, empty factory, empty factory

Highway

Corn

Corn, corn, corn

Corn

Stoplight

Corn, corn, soybeans, corn

Pickup truck

Corn, corn, corn

Illinois state line

Higher taxes. Worse roads.

Corn, corn, corn

Danville

~~~~

(I have many more gems like this buried in notebooks and scraps of paper. People are always wondering what I'm scribbling. You just wait.)

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Reminded of a good idea

While thinking about what a huge waste of time and money this whole taking-over-the-world-Lincoln statue would be, I suddenly remembered of the ingenious plans of the city of Anderson, where I currently reside. Unlike this horrible Lincoln tragedy, they have come up with a great idea: a trucking museum!

Can't you imagine how much fun we'll all have as we gather in Anderson to "ride in an 18-wheeler before ordering food over a CB radio at a coordinating theme restaurant?" I'm getting so excited I just might wet myself!

This, my friends, is what a great idea is all about! If only I had come up with it...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Off to the Land of Lincoln


I leave this weekend for a demonstration in my home state. I have always found myself particularly fond of political opportunities when they arise and what a better time to expose my spirit than on the Fourth of July! Some of my new "grass" friends from the beach organized a rally in Lincoln, IL in protest to the Abraham Lincoln statue and amusement park.

In the event that you have not heard of this monstrosity, allow me to reveal the government's evil schemes:

The proposal is that of a 305', hideous replica of ole Abe, top hat and all, christening the fields of Central Illinois with a watermelon waterfall. Supposedly, something of this grandeur could attract tourists from far and wide finally putting Logan County on the map.

Here is where conspiracy lies... Abe is not going to be full of amusement and the laughs of children as they play beneath the pelting stream of watermelon juice. It is the warped and evil attempts of Dick Durbin to take out the country from its core! Those beady eyes are actually his control tower where he will sit and manipulate the minds of every man, woman, and child who approaches Lincoln's big toe. Hidden beneath the hat, storage of nuclear weapons. And just when you thought it was bad enough, Oprah announces full responsibility as the number one financial contributor of these efforts, "I really resonate with Abraham. Where he came from and where he headed. Of course, I am in absolute support of this new Happy Land where sad children can find peace and distraught parents can be complete."

Stand with me if you can! Stop this damnation before it begins.

Monday, June 27, 2005

What I've been up to...

I did grass for the first time in my life this year! I used to pass on grass, all the time, like this one time, my Dad was doing grass back when I was a kid and he asked me to come try it, but it didn’t look like it would be very fun. Boy, was I wrong! I like doing grass! It’s a nice distraction, ya know?

My wife was so pleased that I finally got around to it. She’d been bothering me about it for months.

If you’d like me to teach you how to do grass, just let me know! I would imagine that a bunch of people doing grass together would be a lot more fun than me doing it all by myself!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Blogless No More

I've finally decided to enter the twenty-first century and get myself a blog. I came to this decision after I went to a party with some old college friends and it turned out to not be a party at all, but an intervention. For me. To make me face the fact that I was blogless and pathetic.

My friends care more about me than I ever dreamed. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. So over the next couple of years I hope to share with you, the world, some of my thoughts, feelings, stories, and ideas. This is my free gift to you; I expect nothing in return.